Who'dathunkit?? Me, starting a blog. I guess it was inevitable, if you come to think about it. For people like myself, who only hang with self (Cuz that's the way to go), and who only understand self, though sometimes one feels that one comprehends oneself less than oneself should, it seems blogging would come naturally. After all, give a man a mask and he'll tell the truth (Oscar Wilde).
It’s kinda sad but true: That which one most wishes to say is that which lies buried longest of all (In many cases, anyway). Tis the irony called life: a culmination of the infinite and nigh incomprehensible psyche of man. For if there is something I want to do, the natural impulse is to do it. If only life were so simple, then, by Janus (Othello reference for ye Shakespeare buffs out there), we'd be living the life. Kudos to those who have broken the wall, going with the "Just do it" mentality of Nike. For some of us, however, the word "consequence" weighs heavily on our minds. An example, if I may:
Dinner with the friends. Friday night. You've all downed a couple but the cognitive facilities are still in tact. And, as friends often do, you begin to talk, and proceed to down a few more. Jokes are told, with subsequent laughter echoing through the room. Then one of your friends sends you a humdinger. Be it what you may: sex jokes, poking fun at a guy at the subsequent table, bitching out his ex-g.f, who still happens to be a friend of yours. In the space of one second, you go through all the following possibilities. Do you:
1. quip in (cuz thats what friends are for)
2. laugh it off half-heartedly,
3. go "oi, come on mate, that's a tad uncalled for innit?" either way, each option has its own string of issues. what will your friends think of you? Are you the "bosom buddy" with option number one, or are you just an arse kisser? Maybe you're the play it safe type with option number two, or maybe you're just a spineless coward for not choosing a side. Does the third option make you the just, noble lad, or a plain old killjoy? That’s just one example of several we probably face everyday. your perspective of different options will be different depending on where you stand (Because if a mate's bitchin' out some whore who rubs you the wrong way, you're probably likely to add fire to that flame, if you're the aggressive type) but in this day and age, most of us prefer the middle ground, cuz, by god, its the safest way to go.
But what about the feelings you harbor deep inside? Those you keep bottled tighter than a genie in a bottle (ooh, Britney should go to rehab, but Amy Winehouse'd probly tell her to say "nooo, noo, no!.. sorry, couldnt resist)? Not the spontaneous urges you get when a random topic comes up, but the emotions you feel everyday, and want to scream out whenever someone mentions something even remotely related to what it might be, but can't, because (God forbid) your friends think you're weird, or you feel it might harm your reputation in some other way.
We conform with society and bury our true feelings, silently hoping, praying, that someone who feels the same way will come your way (but not in public, where your friends can see you)
I have referenced this once before, but a friend of mine once said "only dead fish swim with the tide." (Referring to the "feeling buriers"). And I will state my ever standing counterargument: The other fish will think you're an absolute d-bag for swimming against the tide and getting in the way of “progress”. Besides, it takes too much effort and is in many cases, unrewarding. People who stand out are "odd" and "have issues". Only in a few cases do they become "classic" characters with "exceptional" qualities, breaking barriers and helping mankind progress (a la Mr. Zuckerberg, Aristotle, etc) People like Aristotle didn’t even get commended till they died. Where’s the love?
From a purely statistical perspective, its best to just swim with the tide, and avoid any mean looks from the other fish (those cold, unfeeling eyes. fish scare me ^_^; ). If, perchance, you see another aquatic buddy swimming against the tide, wish him luck. He'll need it. As for me, I'll continue to reside in my two worlds, my Deux mondes: The world which you all see, and the world which remains deep within. By balancing them out as best I can, I intend to keep swimming with the tide, going off-course at little as possible, or whenever I can get away with it.
